Though the contagious COVID-19 seems to have mellowed over the past few months, for some women in India, moving on in life has not been easy.
Jenice, who lives in Delhi's Trilokpuri area, never imagined that the unheard-of virus would change her life. Two years ago, she was happily married to an immensely loving person and parenting two adorable kids - a daughter and a son.
But things changed dramatically when COVID struck the family in April 2021 when husband and father, 44-year-old Anil, lost his battle against the virus.
Since then Jenice’s life has been turned upside down - from being a bubbly social activist, who loved educating poor kids at an NGO, to becoming a COVID widow.
"COVID ruined my happy life. Within a fortnight of being hit by coronavirus, I lost my hubby," the widow, who converted to Christianity with her husband, said.
Today, as she lives with the perennial anxiety of raising a school-going daughter and son all alone, Jenice badly misses him. "The mere presence of your male partner is a big comfort, which I don't have anymore, in this strangers’ world," she lamented to Sputnik.
"It took me months to come to terms with the reality that Anil was no more. And now, I have to take care of a 12-year-old daughter, and the boy, who is eight," she stated.
"It isn't easy to handle every homely responsibility all by yourself - including picking up and dropping the children at their school. At times, I felt it's beyond me. But I don't have a choice.”
She misses her husband much more when she finds a lecherous man ogling her, “knowing that I am single and perhaps available”.
Overcoming Mental Trauma
Asked if it was easy to move on in life, Jenice replied: "Not at all. I used to visit the graveyard and would keep talking with him. I was scolded by well-wishers not to go there anymore. But I couldn't resist being with him, be it our anniversary, birthday, or Christmas."
"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him… It may be easy for some people, but not for me."
But the toughest part of being a widow, Jenice revealed, is: "It's not easy to find your kids looking at other families who have their father with them.”
It deeply hurts, she said, to remember that you are standing alone with your children when other families are enjoying themselves as a family unit. “It isn’t easy to look at my kids.”
Asked if she ever thinks of starting afresh with a new partner, she said: “I can't risk my kids' life for personal merriment.”
"I have a growing daughter. And I don't trust men. Nobody knows how the new person will treat her. Thus, I don't wish to take that risk.”
She added: "Yes, it's difficult to live like that...At times, various men do try to take advantage or flirt," but Jenice says she’s learning the ropes. “I am learning to manage all that somehow.”
Challenging Life of Traditional Women
Meenu Yadav, 37, a mother of two children aged 10 and 15, also lost her husband, Ashok, during the first COVID wave. She remembers him as a highly caring person despite being a man of humble means.
While at work at a private firm, he would arrange all daily necessities by himself and never wanted her to go out to work. So, Meenu lived as a traditional housewife and mother.
But her husband’s death in 2021 changed things overnight.
Now Meenu's day begins at 04.00 (22:30 the previous evening GMT) and ends 18 hours later at around 22:00. Before leaving for her newly found peon’s job at 05:45, she prepares two meals for her two school-going children.
“Believe me, it's not easy at all" to step out to work at a place 1.5 hours from your house, especially when you have been brought up in a traditional homely environment," Meenu told Sputnik.
"But I have no choice except to work hard to arrange everything by myself. I have to remember now that there's no one back home to take care of my kids."
"Just after my husband’s death, there was hardly any money left. So, I had to step out for my kids."
Living as a Widow
Once outside, it turned into a lonely battle. She said her in-laws became estranged, making her quit the house and live in a rented one-room flat.
"At my first job, the boss became more interested in 'taking care of my loneliness' and paying extra. I bluntly told him he was trying to exploit my helplessness and quit."
But still almost every now and then, lascivious men keep reminding her "that life is difficult and one had better take their support". She said: “But I don't need that. I will raise my kids despite everything and won’t remarry."
“Since [Ashok] departed, though I am trying my best, I remain confused - which way is my life heading,” Meenu asked.
Government Compensation for COVID Victims
In 2021, the Government of Delhi rolled out a special scheme for the COVID-hit people, ensuring financial aid of INR 50,000 ($600) for those who lost a family member to coronavirus.
It also offered an additional INR 2,500 monthly pension to the families who lost their only breadwinner.
Blaming the central government for having subverted the fact that people died directly or indirectly because of COVID, Trinamool Congress Parliamentarian Sushmita Dev said: "If you look at the data, they are not even admitting that anyone died of COVID because people actually died because of a shortage of hospital access."
"Unless you recognize or accept what happened to them, you cannot roll out a financial scheme for them. That's the starting point. The second point is - though I'm unaware of the exact number of COVID widows - the reality of India is that men are the primary bread-winners. We are not the West. In India, men are the primary earners and, having lost them to COVID actually jeopardizes the wife and the entire family."
Dev said that the Government of India has failed them as have several state governments, who could have also stepped in to help these people. "But, basically, nobody pays attention to this section of [COVID widows] which is very unfortunate."