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What's Widening Communication Gap in Indian Families?

© AP Photo / Manish SwarupСемья наслаждается мороженым после сильного ливня в Нью-Дели, Индия
Семья наслаждается мороженым после сильного ливня в Нью-Дели, Индия - Sputnik India, 1920, 27.08.2023
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While many Zoomers and Generation Alpha kids in cities today find their homes claustrophobic in post-COVID times, many parents are at their wits' end regarding how to win back their children’s interest and reestablish harmonious family relations.
As the tech-driven world continues to grip us much faster than many imagined, the communication gap between young people and parents in urban neighborhoods seems to be rapidly widening.
Many rue the steadily mounting frictions and existing gulf between them and their children, as they helplessly watch affectionate relations falling apart. But for some, it's just the generation gap.
Sputnik India tried to explore what's enlarging this family communication gap, and how families can re-instill a sense of warmth, care, and peace while keeping explosive squabbles at bay.

What Millennials Wish Their Parents Knew

Grown-up children expect to be communicated with, and revile being chided like pre-teens. Perhaps, a bit of patience and basic listening skills can prevent parents from being derisive, feels Manushree from north Delhi.
“I believe if kids are valued for their views at times, it may restore their confidence in their parents and motivate them to be unhesitant and transparent. It can strengthen the family bondings.”
Talking to Sputnik India, the aspiring microbiologist said, the scornful habit of comparing one’s child to someone else's success graph only feels unnerving and hurtful. Parents should value their children along with foibles.

"Who else should a child turn to for support in challenging phases, if not their parent? A kid yearns for moral support and faith while trying to overcome weaknesses."

A child, if being raised in a caring environment, finds it hard to be away from it because the family remains his or her ultimate abode of safety and mental peace, Manushree stated, adding: “Perhaps to forgive and forget can bridge the gulf in relations.”

Being Creative to Convince & Share Learnings

Ritika, a Master's student at a reputable institute in Delhi feels the gap while communicating her preferences over certain topics with her family.
She believes there’s an unwillingness from their side to accept changes the current century's generations must put up with. “I try to mend it by explaining to them the whys, hows, and whats of the things that I want them to understand. Sometimes, they understand. Sometimes, they don't.”

She particularly feels the communication gap when it comes to some off-beat topics.“Things have changed a lot more than yesteryears, perhaps anyone can realize that if you step out.”

Little Scope to Say ‘No’ or Open Up

Sanghamitra, a millennial from Gurugram city, Haryana, admits perhaps the Internet has widened the conventional generation gap.
She believes often there are few topics of mutual interest to discuss every day. “Secondly, our parents and us have grown up in completely different stages of information, thus have a varying outlook toward life.”
Asked what compels younger people like her to open up with parents, she shared: “Suppose tomorrow I simply say ‘No’ to parents’ suggestion to marry presently, it may be construed as rude. In place of asking what my concerns are they may say it’s futile to talk again and blame me for ‘talk back’. So kids may say why to share something when parents are unlikely to even properly listen.”

Parents should understand that communication can happen while respect remains intact, Sanghamitra remarked.

Living With Kids Lost in Their Own World

Lakshmi Sharan of South Delhi, a mother of two daughters, believes gadgets have eroded the harmonious family system in a big way. She finds it challenging to bring her family together to a dining table.
“Even if we go out to dine, my teenage daughter is hooked on her smartphone. Physically she is with us, mentally elsewhere. We wish our kids to spend time with us and listen or share things,” Lakshmi shared with Sputnik India.
Stating that so much of these teens’ lives revolve around Snapchat or Insta, she feels they are trapped in social media’s marsh and steadily turning unsocial at home.
Asked if it’s about the generation gap, Lakshmi agreed while reminiscing how her parents were quite averse to her watching TV serials. “Today, we may feel if kids are surfing the Internet, they must be compromising values or regard for parents. Perhaps, at times, we overthink.”

Is It About Kids or Parents?

Noted psychologist Dr. Aruna Broota believes the growing communication gap is about the way parents are trying to understand this world and communicate, than their kids' way of doing it.

Living in Different Worlds

She observes parents don’t understand but criticize. “And the issue is that children have come to their first language that is a digital language. It's not a personal language since one talks through a machine, through technology. And parents talk to kids as social human beings.”
Dr. Broota explains that there is truth, honesty, and reality in parents' social interactions. But in children's social interactions, there is no reality. They talk either through email or Snapchat, Facebook or Insta.
And if you have teenagers, they are talking through romantic sites like Bumble etc. or they are gaming, which is again a make-believe thing.
“They are gaming with fictitious people who they never meet, who they never see. So, their source of entertainment is very different from the parents' idea about entertainment."
Dr. Broota finds even younger people's manner of socializing is completely different from their parents'. Some young children are having drinks, vape, hookah and they can have things like Red Bull which the other generation may not even approve of. "So, the concept of a lifestyle and the ingredients of the lifestyle are totally different."

Overcoming the Communication Gap

The psychologist believes the parents need to take the first step. They use cell phones much more than their son or daughter. But they don’t realize it. They just want to impose discipline on young children…” Parents have to learn to restrict their mobile usage before they become Gurus of giving sermons or moral or ethical education to their younger ones."
Modi speaking during the 2023 Discussion on Examination. - Sputnik India, 1920, 27.01.2023
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